Letter from Jackie 16 December, 2006

This is a message I received from my friend Jackie on the marvelous MySpace.com. She  won a contest and ultimately a free trip to Paris.

Given that her letter ended with the question, “whats going on in your life”, I felt a tremendous need to give an adequate answer. As I put together the most complete update to the dolce goings-on of the last few months, here is the message from Jackie. I felt that posting it in its entirety was the best way to show off the perfection it embodied.

Nate:	Nov 29 2006 1:36 AM
Subject:	french indulgence…
	this email maybe long. read it in shifts and respond at you liesure. no rush. my trip: basically at the last moment i talk with the people funding the trip. i tell them. i am not interested in there reality show and i refuse to be filmed. i point out i am not contractually bound to partisipate and i find it explotive. after many phone calls back and forth with producers and the company they relize they have to give me the trip and they cant tape me agaist my will. it is a victory in my favor. The Hotel is INCREDIBLE. Statues, Gold Leaf and chandeliers line every hall. I’m pretty sure everyone there must have thought I was some stray prostitute left over from the night before. Ha.The first 2 days. Its freezing and non stop rain, I face tiny sidewalks and Huge umbrellas, I fear decapitation, and practically catch “the consumption”. I learn that bubble baths and Marble floors is a reckless combination. I rape the mini bar. I decide french waiters are scum of the earth, roomservice becomes my new best friend. To avoid the cold and rain I stay in the room. I read, sleep, eat, relax and spend an insane amount of time in the bath tub.On the third day its beautiful. In the park I meet a mexican solider. (Who knew Mexico even had a military?) We spend the day seeing the monuments the Eiffel tower and end at the Louvre, by the end of the night we’re making out in this long hall engulfed by statues of the saints.Day 4, I spend the whole day wondering, taking everything in. I listen to trance and down-tempo as I pass trough museums, shops and streets, and feel kind of sedated. It’s a strange feeling to be in totally different country all by yourself. You feel like you don’t exist. At some point that night I end up at some random kids bah mitzvah in a slip and boots, totally weird, totally random.My last full day in Paris I meet and Egyptian living in Paris, He drags me all over the city to a few interesting spots off the beat and path. He wore a lot of gold chains, loved American rap, and told me he had friends living the “American Dream” in New Jersey, which makes me laugh. Because I’m pretty sure if there is an american dream it lives no where near new jersey. We end up at my hotel. I let him kill off all the beer and liquor in the mini bar. He smokes joints and speaks in a hybrid of 3 languages all at once.and I only understand about half of what he says. But I like that every thing makes him laugh. He fingers me while trying to debate current political events. Sexual pleasure typically renders me mute and retarded. The next morning I catch a flight home and its not till I’m in the car home from the air port that my dad asks whats on my neck. I have no clue what hes talking about till I check a mirror when I get home and realize I have the most insane hickey I have ever seen in my life, my neck resembles a crime scene photo of a strangulation victim. To conclude my final thoughts on france… Paris is nice yes. But not the Religious experience people make it out to be. People who say they hate the french are usually ignorant red necks that have yet to meet an actual french person and will never visit. The french are thinner yes. Better dress by far, but better looking, not really. Paris is cool but if your gonna spend the money the french riviera is better, hands down. And for romance hit Italy, and if your truly in love you could be in a closet and it would seem life changing as long as your with the one you love. and thats pretty much that. and you? What about you? whats going on in your life.